I'm actually going home tomorrow. I need to get out of K.'s hair, *and* I need to go somewhere cool, so that I can sleep. I've felt like hell the past few days because when I'm *sweating*, my sleep suffers badly.
Incidentally, I will be popping a No-Doze before I drive home tomorrow.
Today has been extremely devoid of drama, compared to yesterday. There was a minor kerfluffle between my boss, T., and my former boss, B., who's now a manager, blah, blah, blah. (Yes, I totally wrote this paragraph for the sole purpose of using the word "kerfluffle" because I think it's adorable.)
B.'s using coke again. Personally, I doubted that she ever stopped. Anyway, she owes T. money for work she *didn't* do, and T. called her on her bullshit.
Somebody needed to. B.'s been crying to me, and I feel bad for her to some degree, but she also brought this on herself. But I also didn't have the heart to say, "Grow the hell up and take some responsibility for what you've done, so that you can go and get better, or else stop wallowing." I guess I enable to some extent.
But *damn*. I've fucked up a lot. I took responsibility. I'm better. Well, better psychologically. Emotionally, I'm still a naive idiot, which wrecked a bunch of shit, but....*Sigh*
I didn't like the person I was when I looked in the mirror, so I changed it. I still don't entirely like what I see, so I'm still working on it. I only have so much patience and so much sympathy for people who whine and whine and whine about how much their lives suck, but refuse to get up off their asses and do anything to change it. I mean, it's one thing to try to change and do the wrong thing because you don't know *what* to do. It's another entirely to just not do *anything*.
In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing is nothing. ~Teddy Roosevelt, whom I admire immensely
Ok, off soapbox now.
Speaking of good old Teddy, this one is a perennial favorite and one I tell myself every day of my life, so I *don't* just sit back and give up like B. and others.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
I'm a lot of things, folks. But a quitter is not one of them. Not when it's something I truly believe in.
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