The Dancing Monkey

So much for getting anything done today. Between fixing T.'s (my boss) hacked site and doing a couple of other things, this day's been shot to hell, too. I had to get up and go to the bank and the post office before they closed today, so I hurried over there, and I went ahead and went to the grocery store (finally) after that. Which took forever because Wal-Mart sucks. Then, the bottom fell out as I was trying to get everything brought in the house. Once I ate and was about to start working, I realized that one site of T.'s was down, thus beginning my quest to figure out what was wrong. It'd been hacked, like I alluded to in the previous post, and I had to UNhack it.

Which I did because I'm amazing. And so modest, too. But what'd 50 say? "I talk a lot of shit 'cause I can back it up"....


Anyway.

Yesterday was the pest control dude waking me up. Today was the roofers coming at 9:30 and staying up there until I left the house between 3:30 and 4. Also, it was about 6 before I got to sleep. So 3 fucking hours before these assholes started banging around above me. *Sigh*

God, I'll be glad when it's winter again. I hate the cold, but at least then there aren't always people fucking around here and keeping me awake.

I know it's super-early, but I think I'm going to finish this, do one more thing, have a bowl of cereal, and go the fuck to bed, perhaps with the help of a sleeping pill. Maybe an earlier start tomorrow will make me more productive. Besides, too many more nights of no sleep will make me crazy. This I know for a fact. Lack of sleep will cause mania, and mania will cause lack of sleep. If I go more than a couple of days without sleeping, I go on and drug myself nowadays to stomp that shit out before it really has time to get started.

Which I think is the best way to handle it, honestly.


Ok, this is something I've been thinking about awhile. It bothers me how I always have to be the one to reach out to people. I feel like I have to make an ass out of myself for their amusement pretty regularly. It's rare, though, that I have anyone reach out to me instead. I hardly ever get a "Hey, can we talk?" as a way to work through things before the shit hits the fan. I *never* get a "What's wrong?" or an "Is there anything I can do?"

Or, as has been the case lately, I reach out to people--multiple people, mind you, not just the current situation I've been agonizing over--and they just blow me off completely. It really hurts my feelings. I like to think that, as a person, I'm worthy of having my gestures responded to.

But maybe I'm not. :(


Speaking of the situation I'm agonizing over...I'm following up on it. I've already made enough of an ass out of myself. Might as well be the dancing monkey once more, right? :|


Edit: Never mind. I just got an email. Fuck my life.