The Light At The End Of The Tunnel...Maybe

Mood: 2

Meds: 10 am

Sleep: 2 hours last night and 2 hours mid-day today. Ugh.

Other: I think there's finally a light at the end of the tunnel. Daddy is going to go and borrow the money for me to pay off my credit cards and hopefully have a little left over for with the agreement that I'll pay back the loan, of course. There's pretty much no way that the payments can be more than what I'm making on the cards now, so that's a load off my shoulders. Hopefully, there will be enough to pay taxes, pay what little I've got left in collections, pay the university what I owe them, and maybe, maybe take a class in the summer.

Fangbunny and I have come to an agreement about work and such. She's going to take calls and work on her music blog and her novel, and I'm going to market. We'll both log in more, I think, and make more money in the long run. I'm so obsessive about search engine wizardry, anyhow. I'm one of those weirdos who gets off on being the best. I realize I'm an egomaniac, but being an egomaniac gives me the drive to succeed, simply because failure is NOT an option for me.

I've changed a lot of the business plan, too. I am going to be SO busy, but it's SO going to pay off. Fangbunny wants to get her novel written, and I want to finish my master's within the year. This is what's going to keep us motivated.

Well, that and the fact that I'm batshit. That's motivation in and of itself sometimes.

The only other thing I have to add right now is that I'm tired of having to stifle my own thoughts and feelings for other people's convenience. I've done it for years. I'm sick of it. I'm tired of having to keep my mouth shut to keep from making other people uncomfortable. I'm sorry that me calling you [general you] out on being a total and complete fucking asshole hurts your feelings, but I'm tired of you hurting me by acting like a total and complete fucking asshole. Why are other people's feelings more important than mine?

Questions to ponder on.