I've got a lot of things to work out in a rather short period of time, all of which are incredibly difficult and incredibly important. I don't even know where to start, to be honest.
It's really hard for me to sleep at night nowadays. My brain keeps me up, churning out thought after thought after thought. What do I do? What do I do? WHAT do I DO?
I'm going back home tomorrow. I've really enjoyed spending time with K. here in Atlanta, but I don't want to become a nuisance. Plus, I have to go to the doctor on Friday. I'm dreading that, and it's partly why I can't sleep well. It's like, I know I need to talk to someone, but the thought is horrifying.
I think tomorrow night, when I get back to my own house and can sleep in my own bed and won't bother anyone else with the weird hours I keep, I'm going to drug myself and see if that makes me feel any better. Like I said, I have a lot of things that need to be worked out in my mind in the next few days, and I need to be as clear-headed as possible while I work on them.
I hope I'll feel up to writing some of this shit out soon. I know it makes me look like the world's biggest exhibitionist, but it makes me feel so much better just to get it out. It helps organize the thoughts some.
And, yes, I'm still hurting from other people hurting. But that's a given, I guess.
I'm going to see if I can shut my brain off and sleep. It's probably a lost cause, but I'm going to try, anyway.
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