FML, FML, FML

Today has not been a very good day.

I was going to go home today, but it started storming really badly, so I'm still here. The power and the Internet both went out. K. and I went to a movie, since we didn't have anything better to do. (Super 8. It was kind of...meh. Not bad, but don't waste your money seeing it in the theater. Wait 'til it comes out on Netflix or whatever.) When we came back, the power was back. My head hurt too bad to work, so I tried to upload the new design to my website. I worked on that, getting maybe a quarter of the way done, for hours, until I couldn't stand it anymore.

I'm incredibly proud of the way this site looks, or will look when I'm finished changing everything. Yes, I paid a designer to do it, but whatever. It's amazing. The site is on page two of Google for a keyword that's searched 10,000 times a month. (THAT is all me. I didn't have to pay for that, thank you very much.) I decided before it hit page one--which I hope will happen soon--it needed to look more professional. A girl I work with did the design work for me and charged me practically nothing. I'm VERY pleased.

So, of course, B. (#2) had to come along and ruin everything.

I was all excited and showed it to him. He was all like, "The background looks ghetto. She didn't put any work into it. It makes the whole thing look ghetto and tacky." I asked where he was seeing this "ghetto, tacky" background. Then, he starts SCREAMING at me and saying it's all over the website.

"The Wordpress pages or the HTML pages?" I asked.

He didn't answer.

Then, he goes on this whole tirade about the fact that the footer bar is stationary--it's supposed to be, by the way--means that she was lazy and didn't want to do the work it needed. (He's a fine one to talk about this, by the way.) Then, he tells me how HE could fix it. You know, because he's a big, strong man who knows everything by virtue of having a penis. *Eyeroll*

I explain (again) that the bottom bar is supposed to be stationary, and he's all like, "That's poorly done. That's what gets you flunked out of college classes on HTML."

Ok. Number one, HE flunked out of college web design classes. Number two, that's not even HTML. That's Photoshop. Number three, he didn't recognize the difference in Wordpress pages and HTML pages, despite those college web design classes that he, you know, flunked out of. Big hint: The URLs of the HTML pages end in .htm. *Facepalm*

Then, he tells me that I just don't know any better, that she just told me it was intentional to make it easy for herself and overcharge me.

Because, as we all know, I'm too stupid to breathe without him telling me how to do it.

I told him she didn't overcharge me, that, in fact, she undercharged me. And he had the fucking balls to ask how much she charged. I wouldn't tell him simply because it's none of his business, but all the girls she works with get custom Wordpress layouts, HTML page layouts, and site banners for the same price she charges everyone else for JUST the Wordpress layout.

As a matter of fact, when she told me how much it was, I actually offered her more because I felt like I was ripping her off.

But this blog isn't in defense of my designer, who is a wonderful person and whose credentials stand on their own. It's about the fact that NO MATTER WHAT, somebody in my life has to be a critical, hateful asshole.

God forbid he just say, "Oh, that's really nice. You've done a lot of work on the site yourself as far as SEO goes, too. Between what you've done and the new design, once that site hits page one, you're going to get rich," or something like that. I didn't ask his opinion. I just said, "Here, look at this." And, of course, he has to criticize everything, INCLUDING my intelligence.

I'm sick of condescending fucks. I'm tired of people trying to manipulate me to further their own fucking agendas. I'm tired of feeling like a pawn in the chess games of everyone else's lives.

People accuse me of being overly sensitive. Perhaps in some ways I am. But on the other hand, people are fucking nasty to me when there's no need to be, and I'm to the point that I can't handle it without flipping my shit anymore. It hurts me. Why can't people say nice things to me and treat me how they'd like to be treated?

But no. Feel free to just shit on Bunny whenever. She's used to it. *Eyeroll*


In other news, I'm going to try to go home tomorrow. I really don't know that I want to go to that psych appointment Friday. I didn't get an appointment with any of the ones I actually wanted to see, and the lady they've got me seeing specializes in...child psychology. Not bipolar. Not personality disorders. Child psychology. *Sigh* I'm thinking seriously of canceling that one and trying to reschedule with someone else.


I've been stressing really badly. I've chewed the inside of my bottom lip all to pieces, and I still can't stop.


It's gonna get better. It's got to.