I'm at my parents' house currently and will probably be here indefinitely. I stopped by the hospital, but my mother wouldn't let me stay long. She said there was nothing I could do and that I needed to get some rest if at all possible. So here I am.
I'm a terrible, terrible person, and I know this. But as I stood there, looking at the broken body of the dying woman, all I could think was "I hope God has more mercy on your soul than you've ever had on anyone else in your lifetime."
I know I'm horrible. But that was what came to mind. I was, at least, not enough of an asshole to say it out loud.
I feel bad about not feeling bad. And I feel bad for my mother. But other than that? I'm just blank.
I know my grandmother's other daughter is going to have a shit fit that no one called them, but the best advice I have for them is just to stay away. My mother does not need their bullshit on top of everything else.
And nor do I, for that matter.
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