My Only Wish Is For Death To Come Swiftly

Mood: 1, kind of neutral

Meds: Around 11:15 am

Sleep: I'm not sure. Anywhere from 8-10 hours. I didn't sleep well, and I kept having crazy dreams. Got up around 11.

Other: Plans have changed. Kitty's coming next weekend instead of this one. Didn't get paid today, but at least she let us know yesterday that we wouldn't get it until Monday or Tuesday. That's better than she's been doing. Currently starving. Nothing from him, and I've gotten to the point where I've come to expect it. Need to work a lot today.


So I had the worst idea ever this morning. Ok, first of all, I should say I've been losing weight. Not a whole lot, just some. I'm not doing anything in particular. I think it's just the fact that I kind of don't feel like eating. I'm not sure why; it just happened.

Anyway, worst idea ever. I thought that since I'm losing weight, anyway, I should try to exercise a little to help the whole process along. As fat as I am, I figure I could drop a dress size, at least, pretty easily, right?

Oh, God. I'm in agony. I wasn't joking when I said this was the worst idea ever. I'm literally trembling all over, and it ain't 'cause I'm cold.

My only wish is for death to come swiftly. There's no reason to prolong my suffering anymore. Oh, let me shake off this mortal coil and go on to my greater reward, etc., etc., etc.


Actually, I'd settle for a leg massage and something greasy to eat. Or Chinese. Oh, hell, that's redundant, isn't it?