Why did you do this to me?
You KNEW I wanted this more than anything in the world. Why would you manipulate me and deliberately sabotage it? Why'd you lie to me? Why did you do the one thing you promised you wouldn't do?
Why did you let her believe that I'm the one who did this? I begged you over and over to tell her the truth, and you promised me that you would. When I found out that you hadn't--and, furthermore, had no intention of ever doing so--I took some time to myself to make up my mind about what to do. Then, when I decided that I was going to talk to her myself, despite the fact that you'd told me over and over to let you handle it because she didn't want to talk to me, she found out, and then you led her to believe this was all MY fault.
She told me that if I'd only talked to her, we might've tried to work this out. Did you know that was how she felt? If so, how the fuck could you lie to me and tell me she didn't want anything to do with me when you knew how badly I wanted--nay, needed--this?
And why the hell did you let her believe that I did this. She honestly believes that I willingly went behind her back for "attention" from you. WHAT attention? Me listening to you on Yahoo messenger at work go into excruciating detail about every sexual fantasy you've ever had while studiously ignoring my telling you that we needed to do the right thing and be honest? You randomly showing up at my house twice when I was half-asleep to tie me up and get your dick sucked?
Yeah. THAT was what I wanted to throw my whole fucking world away for, for sure.
She thinks *I'm* the one who lied to her. I am NOT a liar. Just because you led her to believe that doesn't make it true.
I wanted to tell her. You said she didn't want to talk to me. I told you over and over that if she wouldn't talk to me that YOU needed to talk to her. I am the one who decided to go against what you said and talk to her, anyway, although that was thwarted by her finding out what was going on before I had the chance to tell her myself.
You are the liar. My mistake was believing anything that came out of your mouth and trusting you to do what you said you were going to do. And I know you had to have lied, otherwise she wouldn't have said the things she said to me.
I love you, and I've done everything in my power for you. I worshipped the ground you fucking walked on. You were GOD in my eyes, you lying fucking bastard. And it still wasn't good enough for you.
I always said that I'd do anything for you, that I'd make you happy at all costs. "At all costs" apparently means losing you, her, and Kitty in the end.
You told me you loved me. You said that you wanted, more than anything, for this to work out between us all. But what did you do? In spite of everything, you threw away the only goddamn thing in the whole world that meant anything to me...for two fucking blowjobs.
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