Fuck This Day

This has been a shitty fucking day all the way around. Last night, ChaosKitty and I sat up crying together half the night because she's heartbroken about her husband who still hasn't come back, and I'm heartbroken at the situation I'm in. (More on that later. I don't even feel like going into it now.)

I'm about to start, which always makes me crazy as hell, and, when combined with the fact that it's nearly fall, it's like 20 times worse. I've gone either manic or mixed; I can't decide which one it is yet. I upped the Lamictal yesterday, but it takes a few days for it to start having a noticeable effect. After I went to bed, I was convinced I "had" to stay up until it was daylight outside because I just knew if I didn't, "they" (whoever "they" are) would come and get me. Then, I woke up about 5 hours later and couldn't go back to sleep.

Goddammit, I'm fucking crazy, and I hate it. I NEED my Lamictal to kick in soon. :(

Then, today, I was eating Krystal's (told you I was about to start), and I had chili cheese fries. I was eating them with a fork, and I thought I'd gotten the fork far enough out of the way, so I bit down on my food. And, of course, bit the fucking fork and broke my front tooth. Naturally, it was the one that's already chipped. The crack goes about halfway up my tooth, so I called my mama, and she's going to get me a dentist's appointment to get it fixed. We're both afraid if we don't, the crack will go all the way up to the gum, then my tooth will split in half and fall out because that happened to her.

I cried a lot about my tooth because I'm a vain, vain motherfucker. I know it sounds stupid, but I'm not nearly as pretty as I used to be. Having a fucked up front tooth does not help matters. Also, it kinda hurts now. Also-also, I feel really guilty now because my mama is going to have to pay for me to go to the dentist because I'm too stupid to eat like a normal human being.

THEN, I posted something about it on my Facebook, something to the effect of "I broke a tooth, goddammit," and this fucking bitch I went to high school with (who's now decided she's a dude, FYI) decides to take that moment to lecture me about my foul mouth. Ok, first of all, it's my fucking Facebook, and if I offend you, then, please, by all means, delete me. Secondly, that was REALLY not what I needed to hear after being so upset about this stupid tooth.

I'm sorry I'm vain. I'm sorry I got so upset over something so ridiculous. I'm sorry I'm BATSHIT MOTHERFUCKING CRAZY. But a little sympathy would be nice.

The little girl would like to curl up in someone's lap and cry now. :(