Yes, Just As I Suspected, This Is Hell

Mood: Don't ask. Just...don't.

Meds: 7:30 am?

Sleep: 2-3 hours

Other: This day has been a clusterfuck from the get-go. My entire body aches from uncomfortable-ass chairs, and I've still got to sleep in a recliner. I was so looking forward to going home tomorrow because I haven't made one red cent working this week. But earlier, despite what the doctor said, my mother said, "I don't know if I'm going to feel up to going home tomorrow."

Of COURSE not. If she only stays overnight, she hasn't gotten the attention she so desperately wants. I've limped around all day on a foot that hurts like hell. My back also hurts like hell. But I've changed bedpans and cleaned up vomit and brought drinks and fetched wet cloths and done all this shit that the goddamn nurses' aides get PAID to do. But you know what? She doesn't want to ask them to do it because she doesn't want to "bother" them. Bother them, hell. That's what they get paid for. It's more like she just wants to see me run around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Fucking narcissist.

It's really hard, too, because I don't have what you'd call a strong stomach. I almost puked myself a couple of times. Thank God I managed to will it down, or I'd still be curled up in the floor bawling.

What pisses me off the most is that Daddy told me he'd be here, but he's not. It was like, "Oh, we'll just dump it all off on her (again)." He had vacation time he could've taken. But no. Let's make sure the one person in the family who works off commission has to come down here and be stuck indefinitely. I haven't made a dime this week, and I don't know when I'll get to go back and work. It's like my time is not important because I work at home and therefore can't possibly be too busy.

Au contraire. Do you know what I've been doing since 6:30? For seven hours? Blogging. Work blogging, that is. I also sat in on a chatroom meeting for work, but didn't participate much between her and the work I was trying to do. Oh, and, of course, I've been playing nursemaid for her, too. Writing this blog is the first time I've taken to myself all day, unless you count the 10 minute shower earlier.

I know it's my mother who had surgery, but I need someone to take care of me. :(

Still holding out hope I can get her ass home tomorrow, though. Bad as it may be, I'll probably be dumping her ass and going back to my house ASAP. I'm tired and in dire need of my own bed before I go nuts.