Dear X,
Talk to me? Please? My motivations are not what you think they are. I know you have no reason to trust me, but you won't lose anything by talking to me except maybe a little of your time. You might even gain something you never imagined gaining.
~A Bunny Who Still Loves You, Regardless Of What You Believe
Dear Y,
You are beautiful, sweet, smart, funny, and everything in the world anyone could ever want in a cat.
I sometimes don't know how to proceed with you. I want everything to work itself out between us, but I don't really know how to accomplish that end. Sometimes, I feel like an asshole for ignoring huge chunks of the past (and the present) when we talk or hang out, and other times, I think that not mentioning things that might disturb the peace is the best thing to do.
I'm not really sure what you want me to do, so I tend to err on the side of caution. That may or may not be the best approach. I'm doing all I know to do, which is to proceed slowly until further notice.
I never want to lose you. You are far too important to me, whether you believe it or not. I would sacrifice anything and everything for you without question. I've done it before, and I'd damn sure do it again. I would love for you to give me some indication on how to proceed, though. We can fix this, I do believe.
Sometimes, I think about talking to you about X. Then, I think I shouldn't because I'm afraid you'll think I'm using you to get to her or something. (There's already too much belief by everyone here that I "use" people to accomplish my own ends, but that's not true. I'm just often kind of sucky at making myself understood.) That's the last thing I want. I'll never speak of (or to) them again before I'll do something to let you believe that I'd do something like that for one second.
Thank you for not abandoning me completely. Let's continue working on this, ok?
~Bunny
Dear Z,
Normally, by this time, my anger at you over whatever you'd done would've passed. I might still be a little pissed, but I'd be more likely to be so desperate to talk to you that I'd come crawling back and apologize--for what, I don't know, because it's usually YOU who does stupid shit--just so you'd talk to me again.
Not this time.
You've lied to me before. I know you have. You've betrayed me before. None of this is anything new. But the fact that you intentionally fucked up a relationship that you knew I wanted more than anything in the world? (A relationship that you claimed you wanted as well, no less.) I don't know that I'll ever forgive you for that.
We both used to say that we were so very much alike, and I used to think that one reason you were so ambivalent about your attraction to me was because, due to our similarities, I reflected back to you everything you didn't like about yourself. But now? I'm pretty sure that you tell that "We're just alike" line to every bitch you stick your dick in. And you were never "ambivalent" about me at all. You used me for what you wanted me for and threw me away every time I became inconvenient.
I'd come and punch you in the fucking mouth if it weren't for the fact that you're not worth the drive or the ensuing broken hand that would be inevitable following my smashing your stupid, grinning face because Bunny don't play.
The thing that I hate most is that you pulled out the little girl inside. Why? Why the fuck did you do it? I would've never realized she was there if not for you, and it would've been much better that way. The big girl should've been enough to keep you satisfied. You could make her crawl for you anytime you wanted to. So why the fuck did you have to bring out the little one, too?
The big girl hates you for hurting the little one. You brought her out, bound her to your side, and then walked away. You might as well have hurt an actual child of mine as to hurt her because I'm the one who's supposed to take care of her. I was stupid enough to give her to you, and you did all you could to make her yours, then threw her away the first chance you got.
If the big girl is devastated, the little girl is catatonic. She's permanently broken now, thank you very much, you fat bastard. You may as well have told a *real* child that you loved her and then left her because it would've left the exact same effects on a real child as on the little girl inside me.
Yes, the big girl hates you, but the little girl still loves you and doesn't understand why you did what you did. The big girl spends her days imagining new and painful ways for you to meet your demise. The little one can't sleep at night without wrapping her covers around her and pretending it's you, X, and Y snuggled in close to her.
I hope you're satisfied.
~B
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