I Am About To Shank A Customer

I will never work for this motherfucking dumbass ever again. She's already done enough stupid shit, but this one takes the cake.

Her sites are built in Joomla, which is only used by retards, apparently. I'd never even heard of it until I started my dealings with her. Now, I've worked extensively with Wordpress (the absolute best thing you can use on a fully-hosted website, even if it isn't a "blog," per se), Blogger (better for free blogs, like this one), and even plain old basic HTML. I can do all these things. I am NOT a designer. I can't make pretty graphics. But I can do my code and whatnot.

I sat up until 6 am trying to figure out how to post this bullshit on her stupid fucking Joomla site. (And, yes, Joomla is for retards, by the way, according to everything I've found on the Internet.) There was nowhere to edit the pages. The pages weren't even SHOWING UP in the list of pages.

I finally gave up when the sun started coming up. Then, I sent her an email saying I couldn't figure out how to do it and that she could either enlighten me on the finer points of editing pages that, according to her shitty Joomla software, didn't exist, or I could send her the shit, and she could deal with it. She chose the latter.

Ok, so I put the plain text files for each site into separate folders, clearly labeled with the name of which site they were for. Then, I zipped the folders with WinZip, not because they really needed to be compressed, but so I could keep all the documents in the correct folder, instead of uploading them all one by one. I then sent the two zip files to her and set off on my merry way to my mama's house.

I just got online, and I had THREE fucking emails from this bitch. THREE. The first one was she didn't know what to do with the files and that the reason I couldn't find the pages was that the "web guy" had them HIDDEN. The second one was, her "web guy" didn't know what to do with the files. "They're compressed, and he can't use them that way." The third one was that she still didn't know what to do with the files.

Ok, first of all, it would've been nice if you'd told me that the goddamn files were hidden before I had a fucking breakdown last night because I couldn't figure it out. I was literally curled up in my bed crying because I was trying so hard and couldn't fix it.

Secondly, the REASON I wanted to do it myself was because I knew that you were too stupid to figure it out, regardless of the fact that all you have to do is copy and paste.

Thirdly, if your "web guy" can't figure out how to unzip files, then what the FUCK is he doing passing himself off as a "web guy" (whatever the fuck that is), anyway?

So now I have to go back home on Sunday and deal with this bullshit because, apparently, unzipping files and copying and pasting is TOO GODDAMN COMPLICATED.

Never again. Just...no. Never again.