I figure, since it's Thanksgiving--or was until 40 minutes ago--I should write a post about what I'm thankful for. That way, when I get completely overwhelmed with life, I can go back and look at this list and remember why I'm proud to be alive...theoretically, anyway.
So, in no particular order, here's the list of shit I'm thankful for.
1.) I'm thankful that I have a roof over my head, something to eat, and all the basic necessities taken care of.
2.) Corollary to Number One: I'm thankful that I'm able to accomplish this by myself with the one (basically useless) talent I have in this world. My lifelong dream has been to support myself with my writing and regardless of the fact that it's really not the most noble kind of writing, I am still making my way in this world with my pen--or keyboard, as it were. So at the age of *cough, mumble, cough*, I have already managed to achieve one of my life's greatest ambitions. The other one is getting rich...and I'm working on that one.
3.) I'm thankful for the miracle of modern medicine, without which I would be raving in the street somewhere at best or locked up in an insane asylum at worst. I'm also grateful that I live in a time where there are drugs that can control my symptoms without any really bad side effects. The gagging and the transient Parkinson's-like tremor are annoying, but not nearly as bad as being BATSHIT CRAZY.
4.) I'm thankful for the friends I have who've been there for me when I needed them.
5.) I'm thankful that I'm still alive because if not for the combination of Numbers Three and Four, I probably wouldn't be. Life may suck, but as long as I'm here, it has the chance of getting better. I'm not one to back down from a fight.
6.) I'm thankful that I realized that there were certain people in this world who had/have a vested interest in "keeping me crazy" or keeping me believing that I'm crazy. Because of this realization, I've been able to keep these people at arm's length and not allow them to destabilize me.
7.) I'm thankful that Kitty has given me not a second or third or fourth chance, but probably a 9,527,413,086th chance. I'm lucky to have her in my life, and I'd be a fool not to recognize that. I'm glad she's been willing to give me chance after chance after chance that I didn't deserve.
8.) I'm thankful that a lot of the mysteries of the Universe that have bothered me for a long time are finally starting to become clear, at least in my eyes. Seek and ye shall find, indeed. I hate to sound like an annoying church person, but I'm grateful that God, whomever he/she/it/we/they are, has/have allowed me to learn what I've learned and understand what I'm coming to understand. This probably deserves its own post, but I've written 6 750-word essays tonight, and my eyes are burning, so that'll probably have to wait 'til some other time.
9.) I'm thankful that my mind is finally (mostly) quiet and that I can look at myself in the mirror nowadays and (mostly) like what I see.
10.) I'm thankful for being able to be self-employed in this shitty economy. I'm happy that my business is growing like it is, and I'm glad I've been able to give some other people a helping hand, small though it is, as well.
11.) I'm thankful for the peace of mind I'm slowly finding through combinations of Numbers One through Ten.
12.) Obligatory family reference here, which includes some people who aren't related to me by blood and excludes some who are.
13.) (Lucky Number Thirteen.) I'm thankful for the hope I see for the future and the partial redemption I have achieved. I can only hope that this trend will continue, and I will be able to achieve complete redemption. (No, I don't mean that in a religious way.) God knows, I've gone to hell and back multiple times, and I've clawed my way out inch by precious inch of this dark, dark hole. Now that I'm out, I feel that I owe it to others to try to redeem myself. I also feel that I deserve to be happy, probably for the first time in my life.
So there you have it. All the things I can think of that I'm thankful for.
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