Ok, so I took ChaosKitty to her doctor's appointment in Birmingham today. Apparently, some wires got crossed or something because we thought she was seeing a psychiatrist, when she was really seeing a psychologist. But that was ok because she needs both.
Anyway, it turns out that she LOVES this psychologist and is really excited about seeing her. I think ChaosKitty has finally realized that it's possible to get better when you have people who want to help you. But you know the best part about it? Because this lady wants to help her so badly, she's only going to be charging ChaosKitty $40 per appointment instead of her usual $160 since ChaosKitty doesn't have insurance. She actually told her that she'd do it pro bono, but she *has* to charge something in order to pay the receptionist people in the office or whatever. So she's charging her the least amount the practice will allow her to charge. I thought that was fucking awesome.
I paid $180 for ChaosKitty's visit today (thank you very much, Chase visa card). The doctor, however, changed it to be $80 instead of $180, so since she's only charging ChaosKitty $40 per appointment, she won't have to pay anything for her next two visits and only $20 for the third. So yay!
Anyway, she's going to go back in two weeks, and I think she'll be going in two-week intervals for awhile. She's got an appointment with a psychiatrist in late March, so she should be able to get some meds that will help, too. Unfortunately, my doctor only gave her 2 weeks' worth of Zyprexa samples (and the generics are too expensive to buy), so we'll have to ration that until her psychiatrist's appointment. But I think it will all be worth it in the end. Oh, and we also found a decently-priced pharmacy in Anniston, finally. I'm so happy for her.
I'm so glad I could help, even in the slightest way. I WANT to see her get better. I want her to be happy and productive again and not tormented by the demons that haunt her. I remember all too well being in that place with NO ONE to help me. I'd have given anything to have someone--anyone--do something. I'm not doing what tiny bit I've done to get a pat on the back or to make myself look good or whatever. I would do anything in the world I could to help her get better just because I want her to be happy. And, besides, what kind of person would I be if I had the ability to help and didn't? I'll let other people answer for that, not me.
Because ChaosKitty is going to have to make bi-monthly trips into Birmingham, she's going to go on and move in with me ASAP. As in, we're making plans to go get her stuff next weekend. Her brother is going to lend her some money, and we're going to move her in.
So it seems like after months and months of basically nothing at all, everything starts happening at once...and it's all starting to fall into place again. Not to wear the Jesus hat or anything, but perhaps He did listen to all my pleas for help for ChaosKitty....
Anyway, business is also picking up again, and I won't be alone in the house anymore. I'm being very, very, very cautiously optimistic. I think ChaosKitty is going to get better. I believe this from the bottom of my heart. If the Zyprexa helps her, then great. The cheapest we can find it is $230-ish for 30 of the 5 mg. pills, but there are patient assistance programs. She's going to get better, and then I'll feel better, too. That means our business can grow, and we don't have to continue to feel like we've lost everything.
Both of us have hit bottom and bounced for awhile, then lay at the bottom of the hole, convinced there was no way out. I clawed my way out, inch by precious inch, and now I've turned around and dropped a rope down in the hole for her to pull herself out. With the help she's getting, I don't think it'll take her nearly as long as it took me.
Also? I now know where to go if I decide I need a psychiatrist or a psychologist (or both).
Oh, God, please let this all work out for the best.
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