Well, I suppose it's Happy 2013 now, hmm?
Ok, I'm actually more excited about it than the nonchalant sentence above would lead one to think.
My whole life, 13's been my lucky number. Well, as far back as I can remember, anyhow. It was my daddy's, too, and he used it for his race car number back in the 70s, before my mother more or less forced him to give up racing (before I was born). I took up the tradition later; my softball number the entire time I played was 13, and at every horse show, I always tried to choose a number with a 13 in it.
So I figure if I'm going to have a good year ever, it's going to be this one.
On the other hand, I don't plan to leave it all to luck, either. I'm not going to make any "resolutions" because I never keep the damn things, but I'm going to try to set up some general guidelines for my life for the next year, I suppose you could say.
So without further ado, the shit I'm going to do for myself and why.
1.) I'll be starting a new job in 6-7 weeks. It's a work at home job in the same field, but it's a dispatcher position, so I'll be working set hours. As far as I know, it'll be 5 pm to 1 am, Thursday through Monday, which means Tuesday and Wednesdays are my days off. I'll also be taking calls as well outside that dispatch shift (about 20 hours a week) and continuing to do SEO, writing, and affiliate work.
I hope that that means my finances will finally become stable, which they have not been since...well...ever. My father also received a lump sum retirement check from his 15 years at the cotton mill, and he paid off the loan we took out in mid-2010 to pay off my credit cards. (Of course, I have credit card debt again, but it's not nearly as much as it was pre-loan.) So that's quite a bit of money I don't have to worry about coming up with each month. In light of that, I'm going to do my best to start being more careful with money and try to start saving some as well as paying off some old bills. As I start becoming more financially secure, I'm going to start dropping some of this extraneous BS that doesn't pay very well and only gives me more headaches than it's worth.
2.) My house--aside from my room--is more or less clean. I'm going to do my best to keep it that way and hopefully start working on this monstrosity that is my bedroom as well.
3.) I'm going to continue doing what I do as far as taking care of my mental health. It's taken me a while to get to this place of relative stability, and I know just how fleeting it can be if I don't stay on top of it.
4.) Speaking of health, it's time to do something about my physical health. I am very near that point of no return when it comes to weight. I haven't been kind to my body over the years, and with my age and weight, it's starting to tell on me. Joints I ruined back when I was athletic are no longer able to support me very well. It's a sobering thought when you realize your body is breaking down under its own weight.
I'm not going to resolve to lose weight or eat better or whatever. I'm just going to try to be a little more active, trade a few of my full-sugar drinks and snacks for sugar-free ones, and maybe not eat as much fast food. At the moment, I don't have the money to fund the kind of diet it takes for me to lose weight, so I'm just going to start light and go from there.
I got a pair of roller skates for Christmas, so I'm going to start doing that. (Tried it earlier in the kitchen, and, boy, am I going to have to practice before I can go out in public and do it. It's been years since I skated, and the skates I have now are totally different from the ones I used to have, so I've gotta get used to it again.) I also have a yoga DVD I've been doing on and off, and I'm going to try to do it more "on" now than "off."
5.) I am going to start working on my Spanish again. I got a new book for Christmas, and I still have my old Spanish textbook from college. Then, there's the Internet for things like instructional videos and Telemundo. I'm not going to be a pretentious douche about it. I've just been thinking seriously the last few months about becoming an expatriate to somewhere in the tropics--probably Isla Mujeres, Mexico, since I went there years and years ago and loved it, and Mexico is cheap as hell to live in. I can't make any definite moves toward it now, given my financial situation, but I can definitely work on my language skills. Even if I can't go be a female Jimmy Buffett, it'll enrich my brain to improve my Spanish. I doubt I'll ever get super-fluent, but maybe I can order a cheeseburger without being laughed at.
6.) Speaking of self-enrichment, it's time I started writing again. Yes, I've done this many times before and promptly stopped. But the truth is, I ain't getting any younger.
When I was in high school, I wanted to write all kinds of compelling poems and short stories in my 20s and then die in a blaze of glory at the age of 29, so that my genius would be remembered forever and that I'd always captivate people's minds because of my brilliant work and my early death, blah, blah, blah.
Now, I realize that even though I've hit 29, I haven't written the first thing in the "publishing" sense. Mind you, I don't want to die at 29 anymore, but I would still love to write some things before I do croak. So that's going to be another thing on my list. I'm not going to be a pretentious douche about this, either: No going on and on about the "novel" I'm writing without ever really doing anything or whatever it is d-bag "Authors" do. I'm just gonna write, and if I come up with anything I like, I'm going to try to publish it. The end.
7.) I've always wanted to do makeup tutorial videos, a la Michelle Phan. I don't know for sure that I will do them this year, but I'm going to give it some serious thought. There may not be a single, solitary person in the world who gives a shit, but I think it'll be fun, and my life is in serious need of some fun these days.
8.) I want to try to mend some things I broke over the years.
9.) I'm going to try to be kinder than necessary and live more according to the ideals in my head, not for my own benefit or to make myself look good, but for the benefit of others.
10.) I'm going to try to start facing things head-on now instead of running from them and letting them snowball. I'm too old to spend the rest of my life worrying and fretting it away. It's time to start dealing with shit and then trying to put it behind me. That's really all you can do, I think.
So, yeah. 2010 was about hitting rock bottom. 2011 was about making sure I wasn't digging the hole underneath me even deeper. 2012 started out with grand aspirations, but I got derailed and ended up spending the last half of the year just trying to tamp the ground underneath me down so that I could have a somewhat solid foundation under men. Now, 2013 is going to be about rebuilding my life and not letting external influences push me back down the hole.
Now, some LeAnn Rimes for the soundtrack to this blog:
I have walked through the fire
And crawled on my knees
Through the valley of the shadow of doubt
Then, the truth came shinin' like a light on me
And now, I can see my way out
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