Well

Now I know the cause for the anxiety and wretchedness of the last couple of months. I always know when something is happening. I don't know how, but I do.

I went to the bank and McDonald's today, before I found out. And in between the two places, I was struck with a single thought--I will never be happy.

Then, I came home to confirmation of it.

I should be happy for them. I know I should be. When people you love get what they want most in the world, you're supposed to be happy for them.

But, goddamn, I wish I were dead.