On The Art Of Non-Monogamy

This particular topic has been in my head for awhile now. I'm just taking the time today to sit down and write it out.

I find it curious the sorts of baggage people seem attach to those of us who aren't monogamous. Actually, I should be more specific. I should say the sorts of baggage they seem to attach to those of us who are genuinely polyamorous. Cheaters, swingers, and the "I'm gonna pretend to be poly so I can rope you into a relationship, then alienate everyone else you're with so that you're only with me, then when I have you trapped, I'm going to tell you that I'm not ok with you being poly anymore" people don't count.

I understand that it's a world view that's completely opposite that of most people. But what I don't understand is the refusal to believe that it's, y'know, real.

People seem to think that you're only doing it because you can't do any better. "Oh, that poor girl, look what she puts up with because she can't find a man of her own."

Or, alternatively, they think that you're doing it because you just haven't found the right one yet. "Oh, honey, when you find the right one, you won't want to share him."

That would be like me saying that all monogamous people are just selfish 2-year-olds who have to have everything to themselves. It's not true, and it's goddamn insulting to boot.

Yes, some monogamous people are crazy, jealous, selfish people. But let's be real, some poly people are, too. *Shrug*

I have been this way for as long as I can remember. Perhaps there's a tinge of narcissism involved. (Ok, perhaps more than a tinge.) I want lots of people to love me! But the reverse is also true: I want to cover lots of people in my love as well. I want the people who love me to have other people they love as well. Please. Get a girlfriend. For God's sake. I don't want to have to put up with you 24/7.

Maybe it's because I never had what someone would call a "real" family or whatever, so I have dreams (delusions) of Frankensteining one together myself. I don't know. Maybe I just really like being the center of attention. Maybe I love the idea of making other people the center of attention as well. I have no idea.

What I do know is this. I've always been this way, and it's not going to change. One of the biggest reasons that I don't want to get married is that I could only marry one person at a time. I think that's horrible. I mean, say I'm in relationships with two or three people. What am I supposed to do? "Ok, well, George, you've been here the longest, so I reckon it's gonna be you." How awful is that to the other people who share the same kind of love with me that the hypothetical George does?

While I personally don't think being married affords you a different relationship than being unmarried, I know other people do. And I would never want to set up a situation where it looked like one person was more important to me than another. That's hateful. So if I know this is what I want for the rest of my life, then it's only right to ensure that my relationships can all be on equal footing.

I don't know. I understand that people don't get it. But for God's sake, please stop trying to cram your sanctimonious monogamous bullshit down my throat. Kthanxbi.