A lot has happened in the past several weeks, but I haven't had the time, the energy, or the inclination to post about it yet. I'm sure I will soon, but right now? Probably not.
However, I logged in to say this here, since I can't say it anywhere else.
Last night, I had a dream. (Details are a little fuzzy at this point, so all I've got left are general impressions.) I dreamed that she agreed to meet me and talk. Then, after we talked, she pulled me close to her and told me that she forgave me, that she wasn't angry at me and didn't hate me, and that she understood. I was so happy...at least until I woke up.
I know it's not much, but it's a little something to cling to during this incredibly lonely time of year for me.
I hope that she and Kitty have wonderful Christmases, no matter where they go or what they do. Him, too, I guess, though he doesn't exactly deserve it. I hope they are happier than they've ever been in their lives, and I hope that they continue to grow happier and happier and happier every day.
My own happiness, I really don't give a shit about. Theirs? I'd give mine up for theirs in heartbeat.
Merry Christmas, my loves. Merry Christmas.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Moar Kitteh?
So Kitty came over unexpectedly today to take me out for a late birthday dinner. We went to a new(ish) Chinese place in town that also serves sushi. I may or may not have ended up with 24 pieces of freaking sushi for lunch....*Whistles innocently*
That was some pretty awesome sushi and cheaper than any of the other places in town. The Chinese qualifies as the second-best in town, too. They also have Thai, which I plan on trying next time I go back. I think I've found my new "I want something Asian, but I'm not sure what" place, LOL.
Then, it was over to Dunkin' Donuts for an iced peppermint mocha and a glazed doughnut. It was an awesome dinner.
After that, we went looking at furniture and shiz for her new house. I'm super-excited for her. At least one of us will not be broke-ass white trash forever, LOL. She'd have stayed 'til tomorrow if she'd had her meds with her. (She didn't know she was coming this way when she left the house this morning.) I wish she had been able to stay, but I totally understanding not wanting to go a day without meds. All it takes is two days of missed Wellbutrin doses, and I'm ready to jump off a bridge.
But, yeah, I was just happy to see her. I hope that once she gets moved into her new place, I will get to see more of her. I feel awkward trying to see her much now, given the situation, and I feel bad that she always has to come here to hang out with me. But when she's in her own house, it'll be better.
It hurts, of course, but I can live the rest of my life without the other two. But you will have to pry Kitty from my cold, dead hands. She is the whole world to me and always has been. And if I have to spend the rest of my life showing her that's true, I will. She deserves it after everything she's been through for me.
That was some pretty awesome sushi and cheaper than any of the other places in town. The Chinese qualifies as the second-best in town, too. They also have Thai, which I plan on trying next time I go back. I think I've found my new "I want something Asian, but I'm not sure what" place, LOL.
Then, it was over to Dunkin' Donuts for an iced peppermint mocha and a glazed doughnut. It was an awesome dinner.
After that, we went looking at furniture and shiz for her new house. I'm super-excited for her. At least one of us will not be broke-ass white trash forever, LOL. She'd have stayed 'til tomorrow if she'd had her meds with her. (She didn't know she was coming this way when she left the house this morning.) I wish she had been able to stay, but I totally understanding not wanting to go a day without meds. All it takes is two days of missed Wellbutrin doses, and I'm ready to jump off a bridge.
But, yeah, I was just happy to see her. I hope that once she gets moved into her new place, I will get to see more of her. I feel awkward trying to see her much now, given the situation, and I feel bad that she always has to come here to hang out with me. But when she's in her own house, it'll be better.
It hurts, of course, but I can live the rest of my life without the other two. But you will have to pry Kitty from my cold, dead hands. She is the whole world to me and always has been. And if I have to spend the rest of my life showing her that's true, I will. She deserves it after everything she's been through for me.
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